Written by Joe Janes
45 of 365
(Lights up on Marta, Chip and Vernon in bed. Chip in the middle. If possible, the blanket they are under has jigsaw pieces littered all over it. There is a “tent” made from Marta still wearing her strap-on. Chip looks exhausted, but elated.)
CHIPThat was amazing. That was like making love to a Hallmark card. And The Reader’s Digest. And a mound of scalloped potatoes. All rolled in to one.
VERNONFun being a grown-up, ay, Champ?
CHIPIt sure is, Vernon.
MARTAWe did stuff they don’t teach you in college.
CHIPBoy, is that the truth. Still, I’d really like it if my parents didn’t find out about this.
VERNONI think your pop would be proud, Chip.
MARTAI know he would be. So would your mother.
CHIPNevertheless, I still think I’d rather this be our little secret.
VERNONWasn’t nothing little about it (indicating Marta’s tent.)
MARTAOur secret. Your parents already know.
VERNON (pointing downstage)Who do you think’s on the other end of that web camera?
(They do. Even Chip, hesitantly mouthing “Hi, Mom.” Lights fade.)