Written by Joe Janes
11/11/09
297 of 365
Cast
Madame Orlenka, 50s
Miranda, 30s
Peter, 30s
Nina, 40s
Stuart, 40s
Norman, 50s
(Lights up around a dimly lit table. Everyone is seated in a semi-circle with Madame Orlenka in the center. She is flanked by Peter and Miranda. The séance is already underway.)
MADAME
Everyone, keep your hands delicately on the table, with our fingertips touching ever so lightly. (She takes a deep breath) I feel the presence of a spirit.
MIRANDA
Is it Alicia? Is it our baby?
MADAME
Shhhhhh…. I am attempting to be in tune with the spirit world. I need silence.
MIRANDA
But-
PETER
Silence, Miranda.
MADAME
Oh, spirit. Make yourself present in our world. Let us know that you are with us. Give us a sign.
NINA
Oh!
STUART
Someone’s moving the table.
(The table rises and lowers. It does it again, but stays risen.)
MIRANDA
Alicia. Baby, we miss you.
STUART
Alicia would never lift a table.
NORMAN
I agree. Sweet girl, but I never saw her lift a finger except to scratch her own fanny. And even that caused her to break a sweat.
(The table lowers as if dropped.)
MADAME
Spirit, oh, spirit. If you are the dear spirit of Peter and Miranda’s daughter Alicia, please give us a sign. Some kind of sign.
(They see a trumpet dangling in the air and they hear what sounds like a horn blast from the trumpet.)
NINA
That was obnoxious.
STUART
Why would Alicia play a trumpet? She never played the trumpet.
NORMAN
Apparently, she still doesn’t.
PETER
So, it could be her.
MIRANDA
Madame Orlenka, please tell her we love her.
MADAME
She hears you.
MIRANDA
We love you, Alicia.
PETER
Did you hear us, baby?
(The horn blasts, again.)
NINA
Couldn’t she take up a different instrument in the after life? Who takes up the trumpet when you’re dead? Harps are nice.
STUART
Harps are nice. I only hear them when I go out to brunch.
NORMAN
Ask her to play the harp for us.
MADAME
She wants to know why you summoned her here.
PETER
To tell her that we love her.
MADAME
Anything else?
MIRANDA
And that we miss her.
PETER
We miss her terribly.
MADAME
She says she’s got it.
(Pause)
PETER
Alicia, your whole family is here. Daddy, Mommy, Aunt Nina and Uncles Stuart and Norman.
(Pause)
STUART
Well, this is awkward.
NINA
Isn’t she going to say anything back? Like, “miss you, too”?
NORMAN
I always thought she was a rude little girl.
STUART
Not so little.
MIRANDA
Alicia. It’s okay. We know you love us.
MADAME
No, she doesn’t.
MIRANDA
What?
MADAME
She just said she didn’t. She’s happy to be on the other side. Please don’t bother her. See you when you get here…maybe.
PETER
Now, you see here, Alicia. This is your father and you’ll listen to me. Your mother and I gave you everything you ever wanted. You were our world. Now, we probably could have been better parents. We probably shouldn’t have left the Christmas lights up that far into spring and so close to the swimming pool. But you really probably shouldn’t have been swimming when I hadn’t cleaned the leaves out, yet. Or taken the cover off.
MIRANDA
But we know you liked the flashing colored lights, so you did get to see them one more time before…
PETER
We did everything for you, Alicia. A little thank you is all we ask. Just a little thank you.
(They hear a weak, sustained blast from a horn.)
MADAME
She’s gone. I think that was a thank you.
(Peter and Miranda hug.)
MIRANDA
Thank you, Madame Orlenka. Thank you. You’ve helped make us very happy.
MADAME
My job is helping loved ones connect with one another. I’m glad I could do that.
PETER
Let’s go to the den. I think we should toast this momentous evening.
NINA
I need a drink. What do you take in your whiskey, Madame?
MADAME
One ice cube. Hold the ice cube. (She giggles as they walk off.)
(Stuart looks at Norman suspiciously.)
STUART
That last one didn’t quite sound like a horn.
NORMAN
Just my way of saying “thank you.”
(Lights fade.)
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