Saturday Morning Cartoons!

Fantastic Voyage (1968)




Here's a little gem I just barely remember watching. The delightfully hammy and ham-fisted opening jogged a lot of memories. This was a late morning entry when channels were starting to shift to live action programing. Loosely based on the 1966 movie, this cartoon featured the Combined Miniature Detection Force (CMDF), who, after being shrunk to microscopic size, were sent on missions to stop mysterious threats to freedom. That's right, freedom! The Team consisted on Commander Jonathan Kidd, Physician Erica Lane, Guru, a mystic, and Busby Birdwell, the pilot and designer of their ship, the Voyager. The ship is very similar to the one in the film, but all the characters are different. Ted Knight (News Anchor Ted Baxter on The Mary Tyler Moore Show) provided many of the voices.

Here's the opening...



If you'd like to see a full episode, visit Saturday Morning Blog.

writing advice for Ken

Ken Robertson

I’m an actor, improvisor, writer and occasional reluctant director in San Francisco.

The problem I’ve run into is that I’ve pretty much hit the wall for the level of teaching offered in out-of-town-intensives and over-the-internet classes, as well as the limit of sketch-writing instruction I can find in San Francisco. And relocation to Chicago ain’t likely anytime soon.

Perhaps just some simple illumination on how you approach your own work would help – things like:

• What sort of practice do you do on a daily \ weekly basis to keep yourself sharp and improve your writing? (I am going back and doing the robowriter assignments on your blog)

• What things do you aim for \ look for when you work to improve your pieces (or your writing in general)? More connection to the characters, more absurdity \ randomness to break predictability, clarifying what the piece is saying, etc)

What sorts of actions would you recommend to someone like myself (working solo or at least in an area without a group of accomplished sketch writers) who wants to improve their sketch and comedy writing?

Cheetahs!

Robot vs Dinosaur had its first live performance in Chicago last night at Sketchfest and it went exceedingly well. Chris Othic did a bang up job directing it, we wrote a smart and funny script and the cast delivered it with a lot of energy and absurdity. Previous to RvD, most of our group had performed at Sketchfest as Teatro Bastardo for the last four years. This was far and away our best show. One of my favorite moments - and I fully and selfishly take credit for coming up with this idea - is when a scientist (Tim Huerlin) takes his daughter (Kate Lambert) back in time to the moment Lee Harvey Oswald (Geoff Crump) shot John F. Kennedy. After Oswald takes his first shot, he pulls his rifle back in the window and we hear two more shots. A puzzled Oswald just shrugs.

Now, it's time to go back to the drawing board to add at least another thirty minutes of material and start gearing toward a spring run of the show.

We were followed on the bill by Johnny's Regret who rocked hard. Their show was a bit too conventional for my taste, but man do these cats have energy to burn. They did a fencing scene that floored me.

The theater was very full, a nice surprise considering it was a Thursday and raining miserably outside.




WHY ARE WE HERE?

Sometimes I get a little depressed. I read the news, I get in an argument with someone, I go into a spiritual funk and wonder what life is all about. Why are we here on this planet? Then I see something like this and it all becomes clear. We're here to have fun with robots!





THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Manufacturers Leggett & Platt, Inc have unveiled a new bed that does NOT feature which of the following?"

34% said "snore detector"
- Nope. It's got one.

No one answered "wireless internet" or "iPod dock" because it does, indeed, have those.

66% got it right with "espresso machine"

According to the AP, Leggett & Platt Inc. plans to sell a tricked-out place of rest it calls the Starry Night Sleep Technology Bed, mattresses included. The bed incorporates features like wireless Internet connectivity, an iPod dock, a surround sound speaker system, LCD projector, dual temperature controls and DVR capability. No espresso machine - they probably didn't think of it - but it does include a snore detector. The bed will elevate half of the bed 7 degrees if a user is snoring and then return to the original position once the snoring stops. If you snore a second time, it whacks you with a pillow. A third time and it makes you go sleep on the couch.

The bed costs anywhere from $20,000 to $50,000 and looks like this...



Pretty sexy, eh? Well, yeah, if you're a nerd who always wanted to sleep inside of his cream-colored IBM computer from the '90's. What's with the Frankenstein bolt posts? Can we at least put a racing stripe on this thing?

The Greatest Stories Never Told...TOLD!

Tonight is Robot vs Dinosaur's production of The Greatest Stories Never Told...Told! at Chicago Sketchfest at 8pm at the Theatre Building - Belmont and Racine. We will be in the South Theater along with Johnny's Regret. Tickets are $12 at the door. Please come check out our historically inaccurate adventurous shenanigans.


ROBOWRITERS UPDATE!

Robowriters in on the move. We will be in a new place at a new time starting in February. Love the Uptown Writer's Space, but we have outgrown it. We need a space where we can do table reads and jump up on our feet and move around and be loud (Geoff Crump is a very loud man). As soon as the details are finalized, I will post them.


THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Two men in New York have been arrested for bringing what to a check-cashing store?"

10% said "A wide selection of pay stubs"
- Go ahead. Pick one. They're all me. I sometimes go by Gloria. And Rufus. Or Carl.

10% said "A sling shot"
- That's right. Dennis the Menace has turned to a life of crime since Bart Simpson has stolen his thunder.

30% said "A stolen wallet"
- Just trying to do a good deed and make a little money.

50% got it right with "A dead man"

According to the Associated Press, Detective Travis Rapp saw David J. Dalaia and James O'Hare wheeling a rigid, pale body down a Manhattan street in a red office chair, drawing a crowd of suspicious onlookers. The man was dead, and two of his friends had hauled his corpse to a store to cash his $355 Social Security check. The trouble began when Dalaia and O'Hare tried to cash Virgilio Cintron's check at a store. The man at the counter told them that Cintron had to be present, so they went back to his apartment, which one of the suspects shared with the dead man. Well, the counter guy never said the man had to be alive! No foul play is suspected previous to the death, just after.

I Believe George W. Bush Should Be Impeached

Don and I struggled the most with this part of the show. We wanted to be accurate, but also wanted it to sound like us speaking. I'm happy with what we ended up with and that we didn't give up on it. Here are my reasons from the show, with the complete tirade at the end.

I BELIEVE GEORGE W. BUSH SHOULD BE IMPEACHED.

– George W. Bush should be impeached for committing fraud. He lied to us and intentionally misled Congress and the American people about the reasons for the Iraq war.

– “President” Bush has abused his power by violating the rights of, well, everyone, by arbitrarily detaining people indefinitely inside and outside the United States, without due process, without charges, and with limited – if any – access to counsel or courts. People are innocent in this country until proven guilty. That’s Law 101. Everyone knows that, or should know that. This is what we get for having a “C” student in office. A student who probably pulled strings to have his grades raised to a “C.”

- Bush has abused his power and broken the law by allowing his administration to condone torture. Torture does not work, George. “24” is not a docu-drama.

- He has obstructed justice by having his current and former staff ignore subpoenas, destroy tapes, delete e-mails, create phantom e-mail accounts, shred documents and obfuscate (good word) the truth. He is destroying the checks and balances system of our government and flipping us the bird.

– He has alienated us globally by completely turning his back on agreements that don’t suit his agenda to make more money for corporations. It is not in the best interest of America to turn our back on basic human rights to justice, healthcare and a clean environment.

(at this point, Don and I went into a simultaneous rant)

– Most appalling to me is his continual lying about being fiscally responsible. He has led us into an unwarranted war that is going to cost us, and our children, and our grandchildren trillions, TRILLIONS, of dollars. Apparently, when he says “No Child Left Behind” he means he’s dragging us all into debt and poverty. Soon it will be “No CHUD Left Behind.” He has pooched our economy. The Canadian dollar is worth more than the US dollar? How bad do you have to run things into the ground for THAT to happen? He has sacrificed the lives of brave Americans and innocent Iraqis for control of oil – a dying, nonrenewable resource for energy. He is trading blood for oil, which I wouldn’t mind, if it were his blood and the blood of his corporate cronies. He is bankrupting America while eliminating the middle class. He’s turning our country into the “Land of the Dead.” That’s right, that’s two horror movie references. We are living in a fucking horror film. Every time his administration breaks the law and I think they are dead, they keep getting back up and coming at us with “executive privilege” and machetes. Forget September 11th. Every day is Friday the 13th in America. Three references! He and his administration are addicted to greed and power and our congress is full of pansy enablers – all of them blatantly disregarding the will of the people. He is raping this planet while telling us to just relax and enjoy it. And then do some shopping. The world is fucked. The country is fucked. We are fucked.

DON – WE are fucked.

JOE –Stop being afraid.

DON – Start being angry.

THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Akron rapper Dan Miller recently changed his name legally to what?"

75% said "Rubber Z"
- Nope. But Retreadz might be a better name.

12% said "D'Eminem2"
- Same problem I have with Eminem's name. Reminds me too much of the word "enema."

No one picked "Daniel Michael Miller II"
- Which is his real name making him the whitest rapper in the world.

13% got it right with "The Dan Miller Experience"

According to The Associated Press, the former Dan Miller, 24, has legally changed his name to "The" Dan Miller Experience. His first name is "The" Dan, with the quotation marks. His middle name is Miller and his last name is Experience. Said Experience: "I like to do little things in my life that amuse me. This amuses me." I do think it is a step up from his original name and is probably more helpful to his entertainment career. But if that flops, look for "The" Dan Miller Experience on a McDonald's name tag near you.

I Believe George W. Bush Should Be Impeached

Here are my reasons from the show, with the complete tirade at the end.


I BELIEVE GEORGE W. BUSH SHOULD BE IMPEACHED.

– George W. Bush should be impeached for committing fraud. He lied to us and intentionally misled Congress and the American people about the reasons for the Iraq war.

– “President” Bush has abused his power by violating the rights of, well, everyone, by arbitrarily detaining people indefinitely inside and outside the United States, without due process, without charges, and with limited – if any – access to counsel or courts. People are innocent in this country until proven guilty. That’s Law 101. Everyone knows that, or should know that. This is what we get for having a “C” student in office. A student who probably pulled strings to have his grades raised to a “C.”

- Bush has abused his power and broken the law by allowing his administration to condone torture. Torture does not work, George. “24” is not a docu-drama.

- He has obstrcuted justice by having his current and former staff ignore subpoenas, destroy tapes, delete e-mails, create phantom e-mail accounts, shred documents and obfuscate (good word) the truth. He is destroying the checks and balances system of our government and flipping us the bird.

– He has alienated us globally by completely turning his back on agreements that don’t suit his agenda to make more money for corporations. It is not in the best interest of America to turn our back on basic human rights to justice, healthcare and a clean environment.

(at this point, Don and I went into a simultaneous rant)

– Most appalling to me is his continual lying about being fiscally responsible. He has led us into an unwarranted war that is going to cost us, and our children, and our grandchildren trillions, TRILLIONS, of dollars. Apparently, when he says “No Child Left Behind” he means he’s dragging us all into debt and poverty. Soon it will be “No CHUD Left Behind.” He has pooched our economy. The Canadian dollar is worth more than the US dollar? How bad do you have to run things into the ground for THAT to happen? He has sacrificed the lives of brave Americans and innocent Iraqis for control of oil – a dying, unrenewable resource for energy. He is trading blood for oil, which I wouldn’t mind, if it were his blood and the blood of his corporate cronies. He is bankrupting America while eliminating the middle class. He’s turning our country into the “Land of the Dead.” That’s right, that’s two horror movie references. We are living in a fucking horror film. Every time his administration breaks the law and I think they are dead, they keep getting back up and coming at us with “executive privilege” and machetes. Forget September 11th. Every day is Friday the 13th in America. Three references! He and his administration are addicted to greed and power and our congress is full of pansy enablers – all of them blatantly disregarding the will of the people. He is raping this planet while telling us to just relax and enjoy it. And then do some shopping. The world is fucked. The country is fucked. We are fucked.

DON – WE are fucked.

JOE –Stop being afraid.

DON – Start being angry.

Stormy

I don't really understand people who say they are in a a bad mood simply because of the weather. To me, it's just the weather and so what, it doesn't determine my spirits unless I was planning a picnic and it's a downpour. And even then, I'm likely to just go do something else.

Yesterday, it was 65 degrees in Chicago and I had a hitch in my stomach about it. I walked to the post office in a t-shirt and hoodie and found it to be too warm to have zipped up. All the local news programs were touting it as a fluff piece about how Chicagoans were getting a reprieve from the bitter cold we had just last week. They interviewed perky joggers in Lincoln Park who were delighted to be running in their shorts and wouldn't it be great if it were like this all the time, tee-hee! This isn't delightful. It's disturbing. By the end of the day, there were flash flood warnings, severe thunder storms and a tornado touched down in Havard, Illinois. A tornado in January?

George W. was in town touting his "No Child Left Behind" by visiting one of the schools that has trained their students to take tests. Now, I don't blame Dubya for global warming, but he sure hasn't done anything to turn it around or prevent it from getting worse. He spent his first term denying it even existed. I was hoping to hear a comment from him about Chicago winters. The kind where he can hop off Air Force One without a coat. Nope. No mention of it.

As a part of our show, Don and I did a segment about why we believe George should be impeached. We got some criticism for it because it was angry, hard-hitting and not very funny in comparison to the tone of the rest of the show. We meant it that way because we are serious about it. We don't want him cruising through his last year and out the door without being held accountable for his actions.

Tomorrow, I'll post my side of that segment with my unedited tirade.



THE BS NEWS QUIZ OF THE DAY

Yesterday, I asked...

"Central Florida Fire Chief Richard Shirk could lose his job for e-mailing pictures he snapped of what?"

20% said "A cop eating donuts"
- Unless the cop is eating them out of another cop's ass, probably not that big a deal.

10% said "A fireman in the shower"
- Maybe he was doing it as an example of how to keep your engine clean.

No one thought it was "A house on fire"
- Now, if he was posing in front of it waving and smiling, that would be different.

70% got it right with "A topless crash victim"

According to Orlando's WKMG, Local 6, suspended Central Florida fire chief Richard Shirk could lose his job over e-mailed photos from a crash scene that included at least one image of a female victim's exposed breasts. Shirk snapped photos of the woman and then e-mailed them to surrounding fire departments. The woman later died from her injuries. Shirk admitted that he snapped the photos but said he never meant for them to be derogatory. I guess they were just supposed to be artistic.